Friday, August 26, 2011

I Feel So Alive

So on Monday we had impolite band names, and on Wednesday they got a bit more risque, and now it's Friday. One of these came from Juggler (of Piss Window and Traditional Shank Hand fame), and one one came from our correspondent in Germany- she tried to settle in Sweden, but they kicked her out, which should tell you a lot right there!

The first one we received in a text from Juggler, who wrote "Don't ask- that way lies madness!" The name is:

Jizz Prison. He's right- don't ask. But we're tempted. There are just so many ways this could be spun- a prison band? A pack of depraved punks? A foreign jazz band that doesn't speak a lick of English and just opened the dictionary two two random pages? A blind-drunk Juggler coming up with the most depraved thing his soggy mind could think of? We'll never know, 'cause we ain't asking!

The next one comes from a discussion about this here strip club review. Go ahead and read it, it's just a screen cap of a Yelp review. Done? Good. From there, the discussion veered to Fresno, and then to Las Vegas street walkers, also referred to by the polite euphemism  that became out Band Name Of The Day:

The Strip Lizards. This could be a great name for a jazz band. But really that's not where it stayed. It quickly became:

The Striplizards, featuring their first album Boner Of Shame! Yeah, if this is a jazz band, it's a greasy and tired one, surviving on cheap bourbon and amphetamines, horning flatulent bloats out of their tarnished and dented brass pieces, all soul patches, knee patches and cabbage patches. A truly sad sight.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Say What?

Some days, the band names are just plain weird. Granted, in this place that's more often than not, but sometimes we're left scratching our heads and asking who came up with that? How did we come up with that? Why did we post it?

No matter. The first one we came up with while drinking heavily at a party last Saturday. We think. There was a lot of very good wine. And somehow something came up about doing something very unpleasant to someone for some reason. The details are murky, but someone agreed that it'd be worth it if they got a roofie out of it. Someone else said they'd be eating roofies like candy and then... Band Name:

Roofies Like Candy. This is obviously a trance or techno band, specializing in the rave circuit. They're sort of like a candy kid version of Daft Punk. Hey, where else could you use a band name that combines the words "roofies" with the word "candy"?

But that pales in comparison to the next one. Remember the last post where we talked about having dim sum with some old friends? Well, the very first band name that popped out of The Chemist's mouth was:

Cthulhu Nipples! On one hand, this combines to awesome things: Cthulhu and nipples!* On the other hand... well, the idea of combining a be-tentacled elder God's own mirth buttons just seems a bit dangerous. Make of that what you will, but they probably play fantasy rock and/or metal.

*And just what did you expect to find under that link?

Monday, August 22, 2011

I Like Chinese

So no shit, there we were, eating dim sum in a joint in Alameda, when Band Name Of The Day came up. Most of the people there were not heavily involved in this project (one had been in on the joke from the get-go, but had moved out of that strange house before the blog got started, and the rest were only peripherally involved), so they were able to come up with a whole list of band names.

And, since we were in a dim sum restaurant, some of these took on a certain, um, ethnic streak.

Oh, and one of the people there was military. Currently on leave from Kuwait. That didn't help.

Here we go:

The Dim Sum Debutantes- A San Francisco motown revue.

Jihadi Panda- This one's awkward. Frankly, there's no way to make this polite. It's probably a bunch of talented by crude college musicians who play middle eastern folk music and drink way too much.

The Custard Buns- Either a girly-girl j-pop band, or a girly-boy j-pop band in drag. Either way, probably really good at what they do and/or hilarious.

The Krazy Kuwaiti Kaffeeklatsch- Hip hop, pure and simple. Arabic, by the way, is a great language for rap!

Pornographic Hijab- Wow, we're gonna get whacked for this one. Jazz. Old-school. Cabaret style.

Bao Wow-Wow-a Chinese knock-off of Bow Wow. Only, unlike most knockoffs, he's actually better than Bow Wow, and only knocked off his look- for the most part, he plays traditional Chinese music and free jazz.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime Is On My Side

Ladies and Gentlemen, here at Band Name Of The Day we just ain't so good with the whole time thing. You may notice that sometimes we have a bunch of posts back to back, and then nothing for a week. Well, after the better part of a year, we've finally figured out that this thing has... Delayed Posting Options! Yes, this means we can now make a number of posts, and spread them out for your reading pleasure!

Take today, for instance: We haven't posted in a while, but we DID spend a lot of time with various friends, and new Band Names Of The Day/Week/Hour/Minute have been pouring in, which means we've got a whole damn LIST of the things for you! So we could blow the whole load at once like some sort of spurting hot band name bukake, or we could, y'know, spread it out.

So, keeping that in mind, check back in a few days for the next post! And so, without further ado, we have the Band Name Of The Day:

Tripe! This would be a great band name for any stripe of rock and roll band, or aggressive folk/trad band. Not only does it have a great meaning, but it's a nice, quick, hard-edge word, and most importantly, it hasn't been used yet! We couldn't find any band named Tripe on Wikipedia, AMG or MusicBrainz! Credit for this band name goes out to The Fiddler, who made a recently-rare appearance at a gig in Berkeley last weekend.

Then we have the Bonus Band Names Of The Day, courtesy of Mark, who suggests:

The Pignoramuses, and then continues to explain that they're to idiotic to know that the plural of pignoramus is pignorami. He's probably right. This can only be a bad, drug-addled punk band. He continued with:

Get Kraken!, but failed to include what they play. With a name like that, it's probably going to be either a bad pirate-themed band, or something clever and obscure, like a jazz band specializing in covering movie scores.

Finally, we'd like to give another shout out to Malaysia! It seems that Alfred, one of our Malaysian readers,  was so taken with Malaysia scoring so high on the reader list that he not only followed the blog, but did so publicly, cementing his dedication to Band Names Of The Day for all to see. Thanks, Alfred!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Dude Looks Like A Lady

So no shit, there we were, dressed up like Landsknechte and drinking various, um, non-alcoholic beverages, when the topic of insults came up. And then Mr. Mustache came up with a particularly awesome insult, which would make an even more awesome Band Name Of The Day:

The Hermaphroditic Apophallators! Yeah, that's got a really short Wikipedia link, so you know it's gotta be good! For those amongst you who are lazy, hermaphroditism is, of course, being both genders, while apophallation is the deliberate amputation of the penis in case of genital entanglement.

OK, take a moment and breath, get that image out of your head. Ready? Good, now go back and read it again. Yup, that's apophallation.

We imagine that these guys play the worst kind of gutterpunk available, and do it loud, proud and with chutzpa. Hermaphroditicly apophallated chutzpa.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Spam Spam Spam Spam

One of the big reasons this blog is still going has little to do with band names, or indeed bands, and a lot to do with the fans. Like any good band, we seem to have fans- perhaps incidental fans, perhaps die-hard fans, but fans nonetheless. Sometimes views are up, sometimes they're down, but there's always something going on.

And the weirdest thing is that it isn't local people who like this blog! We'd expect people we know to be all over this thing, and their friends, friends of friends, the sort of people we hang out with. You know, 20s and 30s, middle-class, internet-addicted, sardonic pop culture junkies from California. Well, that might all be true, but they're not all from California!

After the US, the single biggest number of hits in the past 30 days cam from Malaysia. Seriously- Malaysia. That's awesome!

Here's the breakdown:

United States: 104
Malaysia: 34
United Kingdom: 5
Russia: 4
Germany: 3 (Hi, Claudia!)
Austria: 2
Belgium: 2
Philippines: 2
United Arab Emirates: 1
Switzerland: 1

So that's really pretty cool. We can't recall anybody we know in Malaysia, so either some of our buddies are getting way to cozy with some sleazy South East Asian proxies, or we've got a serious international readership! If anyone from Malaysia's reading this, let us know! We'd love to do an all-Malaysian Band Name Of The Day post!

But enough of all that, let's have some band names!

The first band name came about through something that occurred while making fish tacos and, oddly enough, not drinking. Nevertheless, we can't figure out how it came to be, all we know is that the name is:

Dysfunctional Sheep! Clearly their first album must be named Everything's Better With Sheep. But what sort of music do they play? Some sort of comical experimental alternative nerd rock perhaps, sort of like The Halo Benders? Who knows.

And next we have yet another band name (partially) inspired by a Facebook conversation with Juggler. It spawned off of a comment by a friend of ours who happens to be a grad student in genetics, but that's probably coincidence:

The Leatherbangers! Yes, this sounds like some horrifically non-PC, if not downright dirty band name, but it actually came out of a discussion about making sausage (bangers) out of leather. And we swear, that's not a euphemism for anything!

Monday, August 1, 2011

They Told Me He Was Bad

Band Name Of The Day Staff Writer dropping in really quickly here to offload some band names for you.

Number one, straight out of Oakland, California, by way of Dr. Who (don't ask) is:

Bad Guy Boyfriend! This is an excellent band name- it could be a teenybopper band like Hanson or early Silverchair, all the way through to a true, adult-contemporary metal band. Not the over-testosteroned young hotheads that have spikes on every conceivable wardrobe item, but the sort that's been around for a while, knows how to pace themselves for a grueling tour and can rock the house like no other, night after night after night and still get up the next morning.

Then we have one flying in via text message carrier pigeon from Juggler (remember Juggler?), about 90 miles to the north-east of Headquarters. He suggests:

Traditional Shank Hand, and writes that they play traditional Irish music with a heavy rock influence. Sort of like Flogging Molly, but less punk and more Metallica before they started to suck. Apparently this was something that was come up with after a particularly grueling hapkido class.

The next one also comes from Juggler, but has somewhat more... nebulous origins:

Piss Window. Juggler writes that they absolutely have to play British punk and wear plaid pants and Doc Martens. Apparently nobody remembers how they came up with that one, but that's entirely fitting.