Friday, August 26, 2011

I Feel So Alive

So on Monday we had impolite band names, and on Wednesday they got a bit more risque, and now it's Friday. One of these came from Juggler (of Piss Window and Traditional Shank Hand fame), and one one came from our correspondent in Germany- she tried to settle in Sweden, but they kicked her out, which should tell you a lot right there!

The first one we received in a text from Juggler, who wrote "Don't ask- that way lies madness!" The name is:

Jizz Prison. He's right- don't ask. But we're tempted. There are just so many ways this could be spun- a prison band? A pack of depraved punks? A foreign jazz band that doesn't speak a lick of English and just opened the dictionary two two random pages? A blind-drunk Juggler coming up with the most depraved thing his soggy mind could think of? We'll never know, 'cause we ain't asking!

The next one comes from a discussion about this here strip club review. Go ahead and read it, it's just a screen cap of a Yelp review. Done? Good. From there, the discussion veered to Fresno, and then to Las Vegas street walkers, also referred to by the polite euphemism  that became out Band Name Of The Day:

The Strip Lizards. This could be a great name for a jazz band. But really that's not where it stayed. It quickly became:

The Striplizards, featuring their first album Boner Of Shame! Yeah, if this is a jazz band, it's a greasy and tired one, surviving on cheap bourbon and amphetamines, horning flatulent bloats out of their tarnished and dented brass pieces, all soul patches, knee patches and cabbage patches. A truly sad sight.

No comments:

Post a Comment