Monday, May 30, 2011

Bewar the Cat Man

Ah, long weekends! They're an amazing thing. As usual, we came up with a bunch of great band names, and as usual the majority of them got lost in the mists of the bar and are now haunting Berkeley's oldest pub.

We do have one on file from that night, however:

The Froofy Fuckgnomes, which are based on a hilarious photo some friends of ours on long patrol in Europe took. Apparently there's a shop in Amsterdam that sells little garden gnome statues that are joyfully flipping off the camera. The photo had several in different colors. Bang, we had a band name and an album cover! The Fuckgnomes probably play some sort of electronic Euro-pop, like a Dutch version of Daft Punk or something.

Staying on the theme of bouncy electronic music, we've got one on the books from god knows where, although there's talk of it coming from one of the people who were present that night. Unfortunately, it got entered sans name or date or back story or even memory, so it must have been a good night indeed:

Instant Fun, probably another electro-beat outfit, maybe a J-Pop band or maybe an insanely popular underground rave DJ (remember raves?).

On a slightly more sober (though decidedly less serious note) we have another one of our many band names born from Facebook. Someone who shall remain nameless had a new chiapet that was particularly bulbous and speckled much like new chiapets are before they grow mold and plants and stuff. It was sufficiently new that there was some doubt about what it was, and someone thought it was a huge cheese ball that someone had drawn a face on. Some slightly syntaxical reorganization later we have:

Cheeseballs with Faces! This can, of course, only be a hippie jam band. Only hippie jam bands come up with names that are that bizarre and awkward while still evoking a clear (and someone terrifying) picture.

And finally, we have a brief incident where a cat was happily curled up on a neoprene computer sleeve on top of the drier. Band name:

The Neoprene Cats, which is arguably the best Band Name Of The Day, and quite possibly the Best Band Name Of Quite Some Time. This could, of course, make a fantastic adult alternative or light rock band, as well as a bubblegum pop outfit, or even any stripe of jazz band. Good stuff.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011


This is going to be an I post. Usually this blog is written in the second person because it really is a communal and collaborative project, even if I do all the actual writing. Nevertheless, this post's a bit introspective, and communal introspection just isn't our bag.

I've been posting on here less and less lately, and it's starting to show. Fewer posts, fewer band names posted, but also fewer hits and fewer band names coming in. Sometimes I have the feeling that the joke's gone on quite a bit longer than it was funny, and I should just quietly let it peter out, or that I'm investing way too much time into something that's patently useless. At other times, though, I come across a really great band name (like the one today!) and just can't wait to post it. So for the time being, I'll just keep trundling along on here, but be warned that I'll continue to update as the mood strikes me, so it will continue to be erratic.

I like this project, and I like the collaborative aspect of it. Originally, I was determined that I would not be the only one posting on here, that we'd have three or four people all posting all the time and it would be hilarious and argumentative and obscene the way we usually are, but that didn't happen. Partly because the other people I was originally collaborating with just aren't that into blogging (at all, really) and partly because I moved out of the shared house shortly after it got started, so all of a sudden we lost a certain dynamic. When you live with people, you develop in-jokes and running gags, you know just how far you can push things, and that was what made the original Band Name Of The Day so hilarious- partly because we did it to crack each other up, and were always pushing the envelope of good taste, and partly because we had this stalwart facade of creating One Official Band Name Every Day, when it really was more like half a dozen at a time every time we hit the bars, for a total of maybe 24 band names a week.

So now I'm losing a bit of steam as the dynamic is receding further and further into the distance, and the joke goes old. And frankly, the posts have become a bit stale, all pretty much the same style of writing, a template of a short bit of background followed by a band name and some commentary. And yet...

And yet, that's how things become entrenched. We become accustomed to things, and they seem to become stale until we try to take them away, and we realize how much we'd been relying on them. Views have dropped, certainly, but I'm still getting a few hits every day, sometimes none, other days as many as 8 or 10. If I can be happy cracking jokes for one person, then I'll certainly keep doing it for 8 or 10.

Anyhow, I'm certain you're all here for the Band Name Of The Day!

No shit, there we were, driving through a freeway maze in San Mateo desperately trying to get to a decent sandwich shop before the lunch break expired, when we were stopped at a red light and staring upward at the gargantuan floating ribs of the flying overpasses above us. We commented on how they really were just a bunch of glorified mud and rock, and then someone added that they also had steel in them, and then bang! We had a Band Name of The Day:

Mud, Rock and Steel, which would be a crackin' name for an urban industrial blues band, a real working-man's ensemble that brings classic blues sounds to inner-city rock and roll and industrial music. Loud, slow and crunchy, just the way we like our music and our craw fish.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Forty Licks (And Counting)

Hey, we're back! The rapture didn't really suck us up into the big space vacuum, that was just a vicious rumor circulated. You'll be able to appreciate it when we tell you that nobody here at BNOTD is in any danger of the rapture, and we're not talking about scientifically.

It's been another good weekend, including a night of Pirates of the Caribbean IV, a night of bottomless sake in a sushi joint, and a night of carousing in the world's best tiki bar. And then, back home, we found another great band name from our agent in Fresno, California, who writes that

From highly caffeinated, partially disturbed conversation that I can't really replicate with any sort of integrity comes tonight's Band Name Of The Day After The Rapture Didn't Happen:

Not the Licking Kind. This is a fantastic band name because it's incredibly versatile, has that strong edge of denial, and yet has that word in there, that licking, which implies all sorts of potentially naughty things without ever actually giving them up. Perfect.

Friday, May 20, 2011

I'm A Closet Disco Dancer

Thank God It's Friday! It's also the rapture tomorrow, supposedly at 6:00 pm, but the prophet dude who's proclaimed it keeps changing his story whether that's in a given time zone or section by section. We suspect that they've got that all figured out up in Heaven (hell, they've got 2,000 years to prepare for it!), but down here? Not so much.

Some people have suggested leaving empty clothes and "smoking" shoes full of dry ice on the sidewalk, while others have suggested filling blow-up dolls with helium and letting them drift to the heavens, but that would be a bit tasteless.

However, this might make a fantastic take on The Chipmunks return tour: the whole band sucks on helium balloons before singing each verse. They would be called:

Helium Blow Up Love Dolls, and would most likely be unshaven men dressed as hookers. Utterly hilarious, deeply creepy, and with all the sharp social commentary that sort of low-brow act is known for.


Since we haven't posted in a while, we'll just keep right on riffing with this sort of heretical rapture-inspired band names. By the way, did you know that the words "rapture" and the word "rape," as well as the word "raptor" (which denotes a bird of prey) all come from the Latin root "raptus" which means "to take"? It's true, look it up. We wouldn't deign to make commentary on the Church (or even a cult) but it strikes us as interesting that the second coming would have much in common with predators and sexual assault. Perhaps the Catholics are on to something...

And on that note, here's your official (if belated) Band Name Of The Day for Thursday, May 19th:

Floating Skyward, which is and can only be a Christian rock band. Or maybe a Christian new age band, with a name like that. They're nothing like Daft Punk though, that's for sure.

And finally, since it's clearly party time, we've got a 70's-tastic band name for Friday, May 20th:

The Pink Go-Go Boots, which would be a hell of a band name for an all-girl disco band, don't you think? Platforms, glitter, strobe lights, flashing dance floors and pixie sticks full of cocaine! Rapture? We've got heaven right here, baby!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Sharp Dressed Man

A certain handsome and dashing fellow who is fond of a good pint, a fast motorcycle and a dangerous smile, and who also happens to be comrade-in-arms to a good number of your tawdry hosts was approached today and asked for pocket change. In Oakland, California, this is nothing new.

What was new was that the beggar in question was wearing a fine set of tweeds complete with hat and natty, well-trimmed beard and was tapping tobacco out of his pipe, which had gone out.

There's a band name in that:

The Tweedy Beggars, which we envision to be an English-style folk-rock band in the vein of the Fairport Convention or Jethro Tull with less blues. A bit of skiffle, perhaps, or even some jazz influence, but certainly class (well, working class) and hot licks.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Medical Lovesong

It's been a few days again, and here we are, posting right as the rain comes in. Sunny days = slow blog days; rain days = blog posts. There may be a pattern there.

Anyhow, we have some fantastic Band Names Of The Day for you today! The first one comes from a mysterious and suave character we can only refer to as G., but rest assured that this person has some serious knowledge about band names.

Also, G. has studied biology, and was inspired by a recent content label from a package in the lab. This is our first Band Name Of The Day, which we hope will tide you over the weekend:

Diagnostic Specimen Packs, which would be a fantastic name for an electronica band, sort of like Daft Punk but with surgical masks instead of helmets and a creepy laboratory feel to them.

This segues nicely into our next BNOTD, which comes from a Facebook discussion about infant botulism. Apparently it can lead to "floppy baby syndrome." The discussion linked to a rather disturbing image labeled appropriately enough "how to tell if your baby is dead." The second BNOTD, for Monday, May 16th, 2011 is:

Floppy Baby! According to the FB discussion they play R&B, which we suppose stands for "something and baby." We're a little worried about what "something" is.

Friday, May 13, 2011

In The Park After Dark

As many of you will know (though perhaps few may care), we're coming up hard on May 21st, the infamous Day Of Rapture, as foretold by Holy Billboard. The Day of Rapture is one that many of the more rational readers of this blog are looking forward to, since that will be the day when the True Believers are finally lifted from their reverie and shown that utter dunces they've been. It's not going to cure of them of their duncery of course, but at least it'll give the rest of us a good reason to point and guffaw.

Anyhow, this has prompted a writer friend of ours to come up with some fantastic Band Names Of The Day, specifically for Day of Raptor. Rapport. Rapture. Ahem.

The VelociRapturs, a band of smart asses that dress in dinosaur costumes and sing hymns in horrible overwrought stylings, specifically to rub the other guys the wrong way. Who are of course:

The Rapturettes, a Vegas-style religious revival chorus line who high-kick their way into the afterlife. We suspect they may have misconstrued the term "chorus line," but that's pure conjecture.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Western Union? Not So Much!

We were looking at the lineup for this year's Outside Lands festival and arguing about the proper pronunciation of the name of the band !!!. Although we later found out that Wikipedia says it's pronounced "chk chk chk" (which is really not much better than !!!), we settled on Bang Bang Bang.

That, of course, derailed the conversation into a discussion of an internet classic, a typographical poem about a system error:

< > ! * ' ' #
^ " ` $ $ -
! * = @ $ _
% * < > ~ # 4
& [ ] . . /

This, of course, only makes sense if you pronounce the character's names, and explained by (by "sense" we mean "has a rhythm and a rhyme" and by "names" we mean "slang terms for").

However, this put us on the track of some truly outrageous and unique band names! For instance:

' ' ! * (Tick Tick Bang Splat, rockabilly)

The /!s (The Slashbangs, punk)

# to the $ (Pound To The Dollar, a rap outfit or a smooth jazz band of bankers, you choose)

The @@s (The AT-ATs, a star wars band)

144< (144 Karat, a hip-hop artist)

0=2 (Not Equal To, a political band for just about any cause)

And many, many more. Have fun, and suggest new ones in the comments!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Intergalactic Planetary

This morning some of us congregated in the Magical Snack Room at work and babbled about anything we could think of that had nothing to do with work. One of the folks brought up a recent scientific discovery of a planet that's the same size as earth, but twice as dense. That makes it nearly as dense as lead. Setting aside for a moment the idea of a lead ball larger than the earth, we need to ask the question just what this thing's made of.

Considering that the Earth is largely composed of magma (for lack of a better term, granite, that is to say, dirty silica), this beast has to have some pretty dense stuff on it to average as dense as lead. Consider how much less dense something like, say, iron is. Now consider how much more dense iron is than, say, beach sand. Or water. Or gas. Remember, a lot of planets are made of gas. To get that sort of density, it must have a lot of really heavy metals in it, many of which are highly radioactive.

Have they found... Krypton?

But more importantly, what does that mean for the music world? The band world? They've discovered a place where all walls are made of sound, the home of Ziggy Stardust, the origin point of Jefferson Starship, in short, it is a Band Name Of The Day made tangible:

Heavy Metal Planet, which can only be a metal band. A very, very heavy metal band. Unlike all the other heavy metal lite bands that sing about dragons and unicorns and Atlantis and stuff like that, this band sings about nothing less grandiose than other worlds. Other worlds made of heavy metal.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Take Five (Technically: Take Two On The Sixth)

Today we have a follow-up to yesterday, which is really entirely too appropriate for the day after Cinco de Mayo. In fact, it's even a food-themed band name! But in the interest of not having this hanging over (hah!) you, we won't bore you with details. Suffice it to say, our long scout in Fresno has struck again with some prime intel:

I am having ice cream for dinner. Not a bad band name. And in that vein... and she included a link for us.

Ice Cream For Dinner would indeed be a great band name, and a truly useful one to a broad swath of musical tastes. Alt-rock, sure! It might be a bit awkward for punk, but would be great for a cappella or a singer-songwriter duet. Second-rate for rap and heavy metal, but truly classy for an electronica outfit like Daft Punk.

She also included a link to a fabulous page full of ice cream band names! We're not not entirely certain if these are ice cream names that sound like bands, or band names based on ice cream, but hey, music and ice cream? We are so there!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

The Lord Of Mayo

So today is Cinco de Mayo the umpty-up anniversary of some battle in Mexico. It's no big deal, really, in Mexico, but huge here in the US, mostly because of beer commercials. Mind you, had they won, Napoleon's army would have had a foothold in Mexico to help out the CSA in the American Civil War.

So, perhaps a Mexican-Americana Band Name would be more the appropriate today.

But what...? Got it! Montezuma's Revenge! It'd be perfect, a 1970s bluegrass band that plays big festivals and draws huge crowds and... wait, what, they exist?

Well, crap.

Never to be outdone, we've come up with a new Band Name Of The Day:

Montezuma's Hat! They play Spanish-language punk music in Mexican wrestler masks and sing about local authority.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


Skittering in just before bed time on this gorgeous Wednesday evening, we've got some Band Names from a good friend of ours who just so happens to look exactly like a miniature Hagrid. Please note that by "miniature" we mean only about 6'5".

We must also apologize for being particularly remiss about posting new and amusing band names. This has largely to do with it being gorgeous weather, so we tend to go and play outside, rather than marinading in the glow of the screen.

Anyhow, back on topic!

We have three (Three! Ah, ah, ah!) band names from Mini Hagrid today, and all three of them are classic, 80's metal band names. They are:

Edit! We Mini Hagrid's lovely spouse has chimed in with just what sort of music some of these classic 80's bands play!

Kingdomfist! A classic 80's metal band. ‎Kingdomfist does metal remix covers of classic hymns and has an album out of original tunes for the Psalms; their first hit single was "Onward Christian Soldiers".

The Cloudy Shrine! A classic 80's metal band.


The Skulls Of Winter! A classic 80's metal band. The Skulls Of Winter wear black velvet Santa hats onstage.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Needles And Pins

Today we have a prickly band name for you, brought in part by Fail Blog. Fail Blog, for the uninitiated, is a wonderful platform for laughing at those less clever, lucky, well-off, intelligent or just plain fortunate as we are (we imagine), and generally revels in pain.

Here's a great example: This fine gentleman appears to have gotten a bit to familiar with a patch of jumping cholla, and inspired the horrible Band Name Of The Day of:

Cactus Attack! Cholla, as you may know, is the only cactus that is not only capable of sentient thought but also of physically leaping to attack its prey, and furthermore is naturally belligerent and mean-spirited. It never shrinks sinking it viciously barbed spines into palms of hands, soles of feet and careless elbows, but the real goal of this horrible plant is to wreak merry havoc on the seat of your pants. Or, more to the point, the contents thereof, and is more than robust enough to stab straight through denim like a needle through cheese.