Friday, May 20, 2011

I'm A Closet Disco Dancer

Thank God It's Friday! It's also the rapture tomorrow, supposedly at 6:00 pm, but the prophet dude who's proclaimed it keeps changing his story whether that's in a given time zone or section by section. We suspect that they've got that all figured out up in Heaven (hell, they've got 2,000 years to prepare for it!), but down here? Not so much.

Some people have suggested leaving empty clothes and "smoking" shoes full of dry ice on the sidewalk, while others have suggested filling blow-up dolls with helium and letting them drift to the heavens, but that would be a bit tasteless.

However, this might make a fantastic take on The Chipmunks return tour: the whole band sucks on helium balloons before singing each verse. They would be called:

Helium Blow Up Love Dolls, and would most likely be unshaven men dressed as hookers. Utterly hilarious, deeply creepy, and with all the sharp social commentary that sort of low-brow act is known for.


Since we haven't posted in a while, we'll just keep right on riffing with this sort of heretical rapture-inspired band names. By the way, did you know that the words "rapture" and the word "rape," as well as the word "raptor" (which denotes a bird of prey) all come from the Latin root "raptus" which means "to take"? It's true, look it up. We wouldn't deign to make commentary on the Church (or even a cult) but it strikes us as interesting that the second coming would have much in common with predators and sexual assault. Perhaps the Catholics are on to something...

And on that note, here's your official (if belated) Band Name Of The Day for Thursday, May 19th:

Floating Skyward, which is and can only be a Christian rock band. Or maybe a Christian new age band, with a name like that. They're nothing like Daft Punk though, that's for sure.

And finally, since it's clearly party time, we've got a 70's-tastic band name for Friday, May 20th:

The Pink Go-Go Boots, which would be a hell of a band name for an all-girl disco band, don't you think? Platforms, glitter, strobe lights, flashing dance floors and pixie sticks full of cocaine! Rapture? We've got heaven right here, baby!

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