Monday, February 28, 2011

To Everything Turn, Turn, Turn

Most of the times, band names come upon us like pigeon droppings- they just sort of drop in without warning. Other days, we get them from you, or we go back to the backlog. And some days, noting really tickles our fancy, and we cast about for a while to find something. Today is one of those days.

Out of ideas and constrained by a corporate work environment, we turned to Google, and found something awesome:

BNOTD- on Twitter! These folks have over forty random, off-the-wall, and utterly surprising band names.

Which really puts our band name idea (Fish Lips) to shame. And besides, that's taken so we can't use it anyhow.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Runnin' Through The Jungle

So no shit, there we were, having a bit of a catch-up with old chums, when it turned out one of said old chums got a job and was moving to Virginia. The Appalachians, to be exactly. Naturally, a large amount of good natured ribbing occurred, along with numerous Google and Google Maps searches to see just what sort of a redneck hillbilly hell-hole this dapper young gent from California was venturing into.

One of the things we found was the Google Maps entry for Short Pump, VA. Thus, was born a Band Name:

The Short Pump Shouters. They're a country band of course, of a particularly twangy hill people kind and yes, they have a jug.

Get Your Motor Running!

So it's been a while again, and we've been quite lax about the promise to post every day. In fact, we haven't fulfilled it at all.

But that's alright, since we only ever promised to try to post every day.

So to atone for your sins apologize for slacking, we've got a couple of Band Names for you for yesterday earlier today, since yesterday today clearly doesn't end until we go to bed, regardless of what the clock says.

Anyhow, we got a text recently from our good friend Lizard up in Sacramento. It seems Lizard and Tori were at a four-way stop sign where nobody was going but everyone was sort of lunging forward in little jolts like they were about to go. Lizard had enough, gunned it, and shrieked "(some horrible insult we can't remember because it was completely overshadowed by what's to come) you, you indecisive cocks!"

And Tori, dear, brilliant Tori, said "Hey, that'd make a great band name!" There you have it:

The Indecisive Cocks, who carry on the illustrious tradition of (adjective)(slang term for "penis") band names started by the likes of The Revolting Cocks and Throbbing Gristle. The Indecisive Cocks have put out a number of concept albums exploring punk, heavy metal, rockabilly and most recently calypso and acid jazz fusion.

But Tori didn't stop there. Oh, no, that would not be her style at all! She continued with "They're probably formerly known as:

Flacid Reflux." As Flacid Reflux, they played exclusively smooth jazz and of course soft rock.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Jack The Stripper

Oh my, looks like we ran out of the office again without posting the BNOTD last night! Naughty, naughty!

Speaking of naughty, professional people don't always have professional conversations! Here's one that was passed to us by a friend, and was apparently invented by a friend of our friend and a friend of the friend of our friend.

Two people, it seems, were in a bar and talking about strippers. We don't know about you, but if you're going to be in a bar, strippers are the topic to discuss. Anyhow, they came up with a band name for us:

The Möbius Strippers! This band of sinfully attractive lads and ladies plays a vampy orchestral big-band style reminiscent of Las Vegas' heyday. You may not notice it because they're very good, but occasionally they'll fudge the time signature so it seems to come out right, but really comes out oh, so wrong.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Komputerwelt? Not So Much!

Oof. It's been a long day on the support queue for an internet startup, and let me tell you, here in Silicon Valley we're utterly spoiled in what we expect people to do computers.

Take for instance your editors here at BNOTD: Taken as a bunch, we're more or less computer idiots. Never mind that we blog, Facebook, Tumblr (what's the verb form of that Tumblring? Tumblingr?), play on various chat programs, bounce between browsers as pleases us, use various Apple toys, dabble in the occasional HTML or page building, we're still considered computer simpletons.

But then there are people like the ones who we dealt with today. People who, when asked to use a different browser for something, attempted to use a different internet connection. People who still us AOL browsers released in the 90's.

God only knows the world would be a happier place if these weren't a completely literal examples.

However, this gives us a great BNOTD:

The E-diots. Originally we were going to go with The iDiots, but that was just way too hip. Nope, these guys make repetitive, generic music using computers. They don't play electronic music, but some sort of primitive analog soundalike they create with the actual computer hardware.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Roll Over, Beethoven!

Ah, three day weekends, how we love you here at BNOTD! Seriously, three day weekends are fantastic! Not only do you get a weekend that's 50% longer, but you also get a work week that's 20% shorter! Pretty classy of President... um, President... Mr. President, the guy who's birthday it is today.

And moving right along, we've got a horrid awesome find from FaceBorg, where a friend of ours posted this.

Naturally, it led straight to the Band Name Of The Day! No, not The Damn Communists (although that would be good) or The Silly Nazis, nope, it's:

Rat's Anus, which is naturally a shock rock band. We get a lot of those around here, quelle surprise!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

It's Been Three Days

Well, it hasn't quite been three days, but we're in the middle of a three-day weekend. Today's been the first really gorgeous day in the Bay Area in most of a week, but we shouldn't complain- the rain we've had followed something like three weeks of sunshine and 70 degree weather.

Yesterday's awesome food made another awesome dinner today, but it might not be safe to keep eating like this without some sort of regular exercise program to compensate for it. In fact, it's so important to keep exercise up, that we've got ourselves a Band Name Of The Day:

The Runs, which is a 1970's style all-chick punk rock band. Fuck-me boots, leather jackets, miniskirts and stockings with, well, runs in them. Traditional lead, rhythm, bass, drums and vocals, totally glammed-out trashy chic, but damn can they rock!

Alternately, this could be The Runes, for a mythological rock band focusing on some sort contemporary pagan spiritualism. It could even be spelled Therun and pronounced they-roon or ther-unn, in both cases with a hard TH like in thorn. In any case, they'd be totally awesome to anyone who likes hobgoblins, and unheard of outside of the Dungeons and Dragons crowd.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

The Lion Sleeps In Oakland Tonight

Tonight was a day of experimentation of the culinary variety. Specifically, vegan Ethiopian food. Experimentation in the sense that several of us had never cooked vegan food, and none of us had ever touched Ethiopian other than to stuff ourselves silly with it.

Boy howdy, was it tasty!

Then came the cleanup, and as usual when you get overfed, slightly beer-soaked people scrubbing pots and pans, bad jokes come and then get worse. Food was discussed, food we'd had for dinner, and food we hadn't had for dinner. It was meat-free food, of course, and there hadn't been any cake. Therein lay today's Band Name Of The Day:

Meat Cake, possibly modified to Meatcake, Meat/Cake, Meet Cake, and possibly event some bizarre spelling abnormality like Meatkake or something. At any rate, this is another versatile band name, but is probably some stripe of punk/indie/homebrew rock-and-roll.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Please Allow Me To Introduce...

Whooooo, we're screaming into a 3 day weekend here in the South Bay, and to celebrate the gang cooked up a band name for you!

See, with the Warped House being gradually dispersed across the nation, only to meet again a few times a year under a spreading tree in the dark of night to do battle with a wicket and monstrous bar armed with many bottles of alcohol, we've resorted to convening ad hoc committees to come up with actionable event time lines for implementation to target key success indicators for upcoming deadlines. In other words, we're polling co-workers.

Anyhow, since at least one of us works in the sort of office where the Friday Afternoon Nerf Battle is on the official company calendar, it can get interesting. That makes today's Band Name Of The Day:

Tickle Me Elmo (Overdrive!) We envision this as a britpunk band of the dirtiest sort. Their biggest hit is "Rubber Baby Bugger Bumper," a disgusting power ballade about... well, you don't want to know what it's about, let's just say they're not allowed back in Sweden ever again.

Have a great weekend, and we'll have more band names for you tomorrow!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


It's been a hazy, lazy day here in California, what with those winter storms they promised us finally coming true. We actually got some rain last night, and a bit of wind! It drizzled during the day a bit too, but right now it's clear enough to see clear from San Mateo to San Francisco- well over 15 miles as the gull flies.

It's not the sort of day where we come up with horrible band names, so we're reaching back into the hopper and pulling out one from our friend Mark, who comes up with the best band names. And today's gem is:

Drunkard Locomotive Sanctuary. Like many of Mark's BNsOTD, this one is remarkably versatile. Observe:

Drunkard/Locomotive/Sanctuary is clearly an art-rock or hipster band;

Druncard, Lokomotif and Sanctuary are an earnest folk-rock outfit from the 1960's;

Drunken Locomotive Sanctuary, on the other hand, is a one-off comedy rock and roll/jam band who think they're funnier than they really are;

DLS is a spoken word outfit of course, and they insist it's pronounced "deals";

The Locomotive Drunkard Sanctuary is a mobile bar/stage/house band that does outcalls.

And so on and so forth. As you can clearly see from today's lesson, one of the beauties of a good band name is the flexibility and versatility of it that truly allows you to make it fit any occasion. Thanks, Mark, we look forward to many more great band names from you!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Nothin' But A Hound-Dog

Alright, alright, we admit it- we didn't post band names yesterday. But let's face it, any band names coming out of that horrid mishmash of cheap chocolate and broken dreams is bound to be a bit saccharin. You know, too-sweet, and with a bitter finish.

Unless, of course, those band names are brought to you by BNOTD!

And so we have a band name stemming from a conversation with some office mates we're legally prohibited from giving here. Let's just say we were discussing interior decorating inside a metal elevator when we came up with:

DiscoBomb. It's a disco band, of course, but it could go a few ways from there- it could be a bunch of guys in white polyester suits finger-pointing on a back-lit floor since 1978, or it could be a band of hiply ironic contemporary Middle Eastern electronica performers laying down beats like Daft Punk with a political message. Either way's bound for glory, but one does it in style and one does it in white polyester.

And then moving right along, we have today's BNOTD. There are people in this world with the last name of Power. Some of them are rather famous, others not so much. So what happens when one of them gets a PhD? Well, if you're into odd band names, amazing things happen:

Dr. Power! We envision this as a sort of Burning Man-inspired, vaguely Frankenstein-themed rock and roll-cum-science show of the grandest, loudest, most explosive (literally and figuratively) style imaginable.

And there you have it: DiscoBomb and Dr. Power, coming soon to a dirty, disreputable, basement club near you.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Du Nu Nu Nu Nu Nu Nu Nu Nu Nu Batman!

It's after 8:00 pm on a Sunday night, that means we can be a bit rude. So let's cut to the chase:

Tonight's Band Name Of The Day comes from Ren over at Morning Crazy. Besides being a good friend of ours here at Band Name Of The Day, he's also a sick bastard, and we all share a perverted affection for Warren Ellis. Now, Mr. Ellis is not the most polite individuals, and while we aren't either, we at least know that some of you read our blog at work, and would like to continue to do so. Mr. Ellis is above all that, but unfortunately we small fry can't get away with that (yet). So, when we say "don't click this at work," then please, believe us that we mean you should not click this at work.

Needless to say, however, taking a Warren Ellis blog post, filtering it through the warped mind of Ren and then volleying it on over to Band Name Of The Day makes for some incredibly hilarious and twisted band names.

The Band Name Of The Day Is...

Batcock! They play cockrock of course, very heavy on the guitars and drums, utterly tasteless and have a rabid following entirely wrapped in rancid leather jackets and pierced all to hell. Not that we here at BNOTD would know anything about rancid leather and piercings, no sir.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Twice On The Pipe Means "No"

It's 11:11 pm on a Saturday night, so let's keep this short and sweet.

There we were, driving around a dark (and tragically quiet) Walnut Creek, CA, when we started talking about sauces. Specifically, Awesome Sauce. We decided that someone needed to bottle and sell the stuff, and then got side tracked by the economic implications of a single-product business design.

This is all true, hand before God.

Naturally, branching out was in order, first with Awesome Sauce: Sweet! Flavor and then with Awesome Sauce: Hot! Flavor, and deteriorating rapidly into Wicked Sauce, and finally into the moniker of the day, which is:

Awkward Sauce. This is a shoegaze band of course, not unlike OK Go, but less cool.

Yes, less cool than OK Go. We'll just let that one sink in for a minute.

Shoegaze here or there, Awkward Sauce is a technically passable band with an almost negative stage magnetism. The audience feels uncomfortable the moment they come on stage, and you can tell that the band feels even worse. They're all vintage guitars and digital amps stuffed into old Crate housings. Awkward sauce indeed.

Friday, February 11, 2011

I Like Big... Butts... ?!

Ah, the work week is over, the day is done, and the weekend is here, and here at BNOTD our minds turn to thoughts of monikers!

The best band names, of course, are the ones narrowly rejected by actual, honest-to-God musicians, and so tonight we reach out to a friend and guitarist from the South Bay. He has a couple for us, starting with a foodie acronym:

OMG & The WTF BBQs. We really don't know what sort of band this would be, but wow, it's gonna be out there. Really the kind of thing that makes you drop your jaw and stare. Then they'd throw grilled meat into the audience for extra weirdness.

The next one brought to us is one of his Rock Band 2 band names. Originally, we were on the fence about this because we don't want to have actual band names that have been used by actual bands here, but then decided that any band put together for a videogame was by definition not a real band, band besides, we got permission. So here you go:

Transporter Accident, and while we have no idea what sort of music they played for that silly game, this would be an awesome hardcore band name.

the last one we'll let this clever gentleman tell in his own words: A fellow guitar player once commented that the health warnings on the back of a bag of chips made with Olestra sounded like punk band names. '...and now, for one night only... CBGB welcomes...

Fecal Urgency! This would, of course, be a shock rock or punk band. My friend, you have made us proud to know here at BNOTD! May your scales be major and may your chords never be diminished!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Purple Haze All In My Brain

It's been one of those days. You know, those days where coffee just doesn't cut it, and you're left feeling drowsy like you just want to take a nap in the sun. So you add more of that wonderful insecticide to your bloodstream until you can feel your body awake and chipper, but your mind just wants to drift off.

Yeah, you've all had those days.

And so we turn to a friend of ours, a lovely young lady with a bit of gypsy swing to her soul who suggested:

Haze of Catsup, which would obviously be a British alt-rock band. You can tell they're British because they spell it catsup instead of ketchup. They're classy like that.

But of course few of our readers are satisfied with giving us just one Band Name, and so she provided us with a second one, as well:

The Invisible Nudists, which is a pleasantly suggestive title, given who we got it from. She, it seems, picked it up from Neil Gaiman's blog, 'cause that's just how she rolls. We think this would be a great name for a light electronica band, a sort of ambient Daft Punk, but with fewer space helmets. Then again, it could also be a good hipster band (probably a talented one, they chose a title that isn't too intentionally stupid), or some sort of cracked-out drunk hayseed hillbilly band from Yuba, California.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Gasoline, Gasoline!

Well, today was a slow day with an even slower ending. See, one of us commutes over a certain bridge across the San Francisco Bay, and today a motorcyclist had a bit of a rough landing it seems, and the bridge was backed up as they landed a god damn helicopter on the highest point of the span.

Needless to say, a detour was in order, which entailed doubling the commute distance and massive oxidation of distilled petroleum products.

All this, of course, dovetails neatly with a number of band names we had submitted a little over a week ago (we've got a bit of a back log, please bear with us). That suggestion was:

Dame Judi Diesel, a clear contender for a mature rock and roll goddess. Sort of like Souixsie Souix, but with more dignity and power chords.

Her backup band, of course, would be called Dames On Diesel. It's true: Dame Judi Dench does deserve some time in the spotlight, if nothing else because she is one of our favorite women to watch on the screen, and for very different reasons than Halle Berry.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Hot For Teacher

Even though some members of the sick and twisted household that founded BNOTD have moved out, the hive mind endures!

Today, a text was a sent, a message was received, and a BNOTD was established:

The Secondary Cavity Nesters, which is a wide-open name in terms of who might use it. Sure, the science appeal is obvious- anyone interested in natural history or biology or even ecology would be all over this, but it could also work great for any sort of obscure band. Indie rock of course, but also something like acoustic jazz/folk hybrid ballads or something strange like that.

In any case, it's a real nerd term that apparently came up in the context of natural history studies, so there you have it: Secondary Cavity Nesters. Have fun.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Cold Turkey?

So there we were, working away on our respective computers and trying to get through a massive customer support backlog from the weekend, when we found a spam email.

Now, spamming used to be a respectable thing, like fliering a neighborhood or posting on every cork board on campus, but it's become this weird entity in its self, like some sort of massive abstract performance art piece, or a bit of software gone haywire. In short, spam's just gotten weird.

And today, we got a one-word spam email in the support queue, and that one word just had to be the Band Name Of The Day:

Zamturk. And wow, is it a flexible one! Obviously, any Turkish pop and rock band would kill to use this (and they're welcome to!), but it could equally well be an acid jazz outfit, a strange J-Pop ensemble, or even electronica, like Daft Punk.

Anyhow, we think Zamturk will go down as one of the great Band Names Of The Day of history.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Closing Time

So last night we closed out the bar. We haven't done that in a while, but your faithful narrator is leaving the Horrible House, and needed a proper send-off.

There we were, about fourteen strong, completely in charge of our corner (meaning we had all fourteen of us packed between the bar and the wall some four feet away), cracking horrible jokes and wondering when Bouncer Jim would transmogrify into Bartender Jim, when someone let slip with "bacon makes everything better."

Naturally, the game became "What Does Bacon Not Make Better?" and that quickly led to the bandname of the night:

Bacon Flavored Condom, which we imagine would be some sort of small-time punk or rock band. Probably nobody too big, because you just can't go on the radio with a name like that, the DJs would be spluttering and laughing into the mic the whole time.

Anyhow, from there the game became "What's The Funniest Euphemism For 'Blowjo'?" and that gave us the BNOTD for yesterday (for we have been slacking):

Long Pork Popsicle! This is one of those wonderfully utilitarian band name that could be usd by anything from jam rock to a swing band of perverted clowns, but most likely describes some sort of Island Sound steel drum band with a dark sense of humor. And that, in turn, leads us to Friday's Band Name Of The Day, which is:

The Dirty Old Hoodoo Band. With a name like that, what could they possibly play other than New Orleans jazz?

Thursday, February 3, 2011

I Hear That Lonesome Whistle Blow

So there we were, scattered across this great state of ours, some even further, wrapping up a quiet Thursday, when we got an email.

The email was, of course, a band name, from the chap who runs Morning Crazy.

He writes:

For your band name of the day blog I submit to you, with no context, Diesel-Powered Taint Shank.

First, we'd like to say that normally we prefer to have context, but today, we'll forgo that. Secondly:...

...No, there is no secondly. Just this: "Diesel-Powered Taint Shank"!

He continues:

Yes, that's probably means what you think it means.

We weren't aware we thought that meant anything, but now we do. Good lord, we're sad and twisted bastards.

And concludes:

Blame Warren Ellis.


So there you have it, the Band Name Of The Day is:

Diesel-Powered Taint Shank. This can't be anything other than a hard core band, fronted by a disgusting man with a bald head, greasy fedora and creepy beard.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

In The Desert You Can't Remember Your Name

So there we were, having a meeting. And by "having a meeting" we mean gossiping and trading stories about musicians we know, but nodding seriously so anyone walking past the office could tell we weren't just slacking off. We came to the conclusion that the musical world really was quite small, and then split up, one to finish his burrito, the other to go get one.

The lunch counter down in the belly of the high-rise was playing the Gypsy Kings, which is a great band with a fantastic name, and we got to chatting to the owner of cafeteria. As it turns out, he plays guitar and keyboard, and cut his musical teeth drumming back home in Yemen.

And bang, there was our Band Name of The Day:

The Drums Of Yemen. This would probably be a high-profile, government-endorsed cultural music group featuring the greatest stars of Middle Eastern percussion. Family friendly, in a loud and glamorous sort of way.